Marcus Kliewer is the bestselling author of the horror novel We Used to Live Here. His second book, The Caretaker, is out April 21st from 12:01 Books. Below, he discusses how writing horror led to his OCD diagnosis.
I rediscovered my love for writing horror in the middle of the pandemic. It was oddly comforting to find a type of misery I had control over, even if that control was simply typing words on a page. And thanks to CERB (Canada’s $2,000/month benefit to those who lost income during the pandemic), I was able to dedicate more time to writing than I ever had before.
After a six-year hiatus, I returned to r/NoSleep, a subreddit dedicated to internet horror stories. In a time when the entire world felt exceptionally isolated and directionless, sharing my work with that community gave me much-needed connection and purpose.
I was several parts into a series with the unwieldy title The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week when I received a DM asking me if the story was about OCD. The message went on to say that the main character’s inner monologue was relatable to their own experience with OCD.
I was honored to hear the story resonated with someone, but I remember thinking the similarities were likely just coincidental. My understanding of OCD at the time was limited at best, ignorant at worst. Most representations I’d seen of the disorder depicted it as purely an obsession with cleanliness or symmetry. The possibility of having OCD myself was little more than a distant afterthought.
But the more I started reading about OCD, particularly harm and religious OCD, the more I started to suspect those story similarities might not be coincidental after all. I spoke with counsellors and OCD specialists, and soon enough I was officially diagnosed with the disorder. Today, my second novel, The Caretaker (a vaguely spiritual successor to the Man in Basement Reddit series), ended up as a thinly veiled metaphor for OCD and my own experience with it. I hope it resonates with those who live with OCD, and gives others a window into the exhausting, shapeshifting, and often horrific nature of the disorder.