Darlings!
You caught me in the middle of my preparations for our annual Pride salon. We’re having it at Sappho’s villa since there were far too many people to squeeze into Gertrude Stein’s tiny flat last year. Poor Alice B. Toklas practically had to practically juggle the canapes!
I have a good hour before Alex and Prince Henry pick me up, which means I can turn my attention to you, my little booklings. Tell Auntie your dilemmas and I will do my best to help you find you a fellow canoodler to make your Pride month a delight.
Smooches,
—Aunt Libra
Getting Cozy with a Copper
Dear Aunt Libra,
The other day I came across the most irresistible penmanship I’ve ever seen. As a graphologist who pays the rent by analyzing handwriting, I’ve seen my fair share of abysmal cat scratches. The good news is this handsome hand belongs to the detective sergeant who has been thinking up all sorts of ways to test my, ahem, abilities. The bad news is that during one of his tests I may or may not have spotted the handwriting of a murderer. If I tell the copper, play time will be over. If I don’t tell him, our lives might be over. What’s a boy to do?
—Always Legible in London
Dear Legs,
There really is something about a person in uniform, or in the case of your detective, out of uniform. Speaking of out of uniform, did I tell you about that time with John Luther, Jane Rizzoli and the San Diego Zoo? Not a tale for tender ears. Anyhoo, I think it may be time to ask the sergeant to help you take the curse out of cursive. Then you maybe he’ll let you dot his Is and cross his Ts.
Accidentally Married
Dear Aunt Libra,
I may have done something rash. There’s this guy I’ve had a crush on for a long, long, l-o-n-g time, and when he needed to gain custody of his tiny niece after a tragedy, I wanted to help him. However, I might have taken it too far and I … sort of married him.
Now my family is furious I didn’t tell them I wed a Swedish NHL forward. My best friend is worried I’m endangering my reputation as a physical therapist. My insta-niece is terrified she might wind up in foster care. And my hockey player just admitted he’s never been with a man. So much drama, Auntie! What should I do, and please don’t say annulment. I’m in love with the big lug.
—Jammed Up in Jacksonville
Dear Jax,
Your Auntie Libra is no stranger to marry in haste, repent at leisure. I might have an ex-spouse or two who jumped the broom with me after a few too many martinis in Vegas. However, my little do-gooder, it sounds like your heart was in the right place. And I suppose your Swede was in the right place as well? Never fear. Those professional hockey players are known to have some significant assets. I recommend excellent communication and the occasional Swedish massage. You might be just the man to toast his kanelbullar.
Fossilized in the Country
Dearest Aunt Libra,
What are the qualifications to consider another your arch-nemesis? Does being a walking scandal, mayhem incarnate, and entirely too charming and handsome for anyone’s good, qualify? Her impudence never ceases. I made the archeological find of the century right here on my family’s estate—and she made me lose it! She has entirely scuttled my chances at a proper excavation and with it my hopes of gaining professional respect. Now she wants to join forces to search for treasure—right here in Derbyshire. It’s madness, but should I do it, Auntie? I detest the trollop, but what if something is meaningful is buried and waiting to be found?
—Digging in Derbyshire
Dear Hot Diggity,
My spiritual advisor, Guru Pathik, always tells me that the greatest treasures lay buried within our hearts. He is wise about all things except banana and onion juice. Where was I? Ah, yes, your delightful adversary. It sounds like she might help you unearth more than buried baubles. And four hands are better than two, no?
Nothing is more fun for Pride than romantic intrigue and juicy drama. Will Legs catch his detective before the murderer catches up with them? (Copper Script by KJ Charles.) Can Jax thaw his hockey player’s frozen assets and build a family? (Pucking Strong by Emily Rath.) Will Hot Diggity get down in the dirt with her nemesis and uncover love? (A Rare Find by Joanna Lowell.) I can’t wait to find out. If you see me at Pride, do drop over and spill the tea. Auntie gets thirsty.
Happy Pride, my beauties!
—Aunt Libra