Nick Miller is the fictional boyfriend of everyone’s dreams, but if anyone met him in real life, I’m not convinced he’d be the catch we’ve made him out to be.
September 20, 2026 marks the 15th anniversary of New Girl. While viewers know that 10 years marks a tin anniversary (Hello, Tinfinity!), we’re celebrating the beloved sitcom’s crystal anniversary by looking back at the characters at the heart of the series. Through seven seasons, viewers got to know Jess (Zooey Deschanel), Nick (Jake Johnson), Cece (Hannah Simone), Schmidt (Max Greenfield), Winston (Lamorne Morris), and Coach (Damon Wayans Jr.) through the highs and lows of their love lives, with endless swoonworthy moments and cringy instances along the way.
A decade and a half later, I’m taking a closer look at the bunch to decide who would actually make a good partner. So, would Nick actually be a good boyfriend? Is Cece truly as flawless as Schmidt believes? Scroll for Swooon‘s official ranking of the New Girl main characters, from who would be least to most worth dating. Trust me, this is some boots-on-the-ground, investigative yearn-alism you won’t want to miss.
Sound off in the comments below with the characters you’d swipe right on, and who you’d leave on read.
New Girl, All Seasons, Streaming Now, Hulu/Peacock
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6. Schmidt
Pros: Successful career. Certified yearner. Very clean.
Cons: Does not know how to do laundry. The Loft’s resident douchebag. A known cheater.
Verdict: When it comes to Schmidt, it’s clear that the iconic character is more of a friend you see a few times a year than someone you’d actually date. We’d chat about the wild happenings in his life over brunch, I’d smile at his oddities, and he’d say one or two things worthy of putting a dollar in the d*uchebag jar. That said, I’m convinced he would drain my social battery, so have to admit, I can’t handle 24/7 Schmidt.
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5. Jess
Pros: Always prepared. Endlessly creative. Fantastic Elvis impression.
Cons: Way too cheery. May not be a very good teacher. Sings half her sentences. Watches Dirty Dancing too often.
Verdict: “Who’s that girl?” Well, it’s certainly not the love of my life. Jess walks the line between being far too relatable and a tad insufferable. Seeing as you can trust that she’d always be there for you, life would get a lot more exciting with her consistently by your side. Sure, she’s an absolute delight on the show, but IRL, I’m pretty sure I’d come to resent her.
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4. Coach
Pros: Great with kids. Gives fantastic advice.
Cons: Frequently disappears. Makes sports his personality. Has to warm up to new people.
Verdict: Coach comes and goes from the series, leading me to believe that he’s a flight risk when it comes to dating. He’s a slow burner, having a harder exterior until you get to know his soft side deeper down. Coach seems like a fine partner, but I’m not changing my name to WAG.
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3. Cece
Pros: Literally perfect in every way.
Cons: That awful baby voice.
Verdict: Cece Parekh, you’re perfect… I just don’t think you’re perfect for me. It’s clear that Cece is a fantastic and loyal friend, but when it comes to romance, she has one major flaw. Occasionally, she starts to talk like she is a “little baby” to get attention or be cutesy. It is not cutesy. It gives me the ick.
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2. Nick
Pros: Best kisser on TV. Incredibly loyal. Successful author.
Cons: No bank account. Uses a plastic bag as a wallet. Calls birds “sky rats.” Doesn’t believe in the moon landing. Would only get me cookie if I got him cookie first.
Verdict: While Nick Miller is the leading man in everyone’s daydreams, his red flags have their own mini red flags. His and Jess’ first kiss is quite possibly the greatest we’ve seen on the big or small screen, but that win could only get him so far in this ranking.
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1. Winston
Pros: Ferguson. Lover of puzzles and bird shirts. Fluent in the songs of Wicked. Incredibly endearing.
Cons: Will steal my cat if we break up. Prank Sinatra.
Verdict: Out of all the New Girl characters, the most dateable by far is Winnie the Bish. This guy is an absolute delight. It’s impossible not to fall in love with him. With Winston, every day would be a new prank-filled adventure. (If I join in on the pranks, he can’t prank me, right?)